Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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