i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think my fart just growled at me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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