I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
