Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
