I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
