hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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