I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
His nipple licking is glorious
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