based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
