I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
