Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
