do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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