I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
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