i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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