my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
