if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
