Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
