I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
