What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
