You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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