Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
