So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just had sex on a roof
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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