Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
