I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
