porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
