I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
