is your mom at the bar?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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