a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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