and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
