I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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