the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
