i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
