Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She's the barista slut.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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