What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
