on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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