You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
