I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They took my balls.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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