SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
