Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
