I got her a Nickelback box set.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We had sex on a dog bed..
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
