Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
