Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
