get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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