it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
