is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
