So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
