Dual....:-)
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
