let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
