the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Send help, water and tortillas.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize