what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
