I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
