blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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