Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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