he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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