Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
