Where is the hickey?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
