Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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