it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize