Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
