you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
