What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
