how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize