I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
